Planning a Funeral for a Loved One
The death of a loved one is a stressful time. At St. Thomas More we invite you to honor your loved one with a funeral service that will celebrate their life and help others to mourn.
The following information is intended to be of help to you in planning a beautiful and dignified celebration. On staff is Pastoral Care Coordinator Linda McDowell who will assist and guide you in your decision making process. May God bless you and be with you at this time of grief.
Frequently Asked Questions
Must we do all three steps: a Vigil, a Mass, and a committal?
While recommended, you may opt not to have a vigil, or to schedule the committal at another time or place.
To accommodate those who work, can we schedule an evening funeral?
Yes, if it is possible, an evening funeral can be scheduled with a private family committal the next morning.
Can the funeral be celebrated without a Mass?
Yes, in special circumstances a funeral service may be celebrated outside of Mass.
What about cremation?
The Church permits cremation. The preference is that the cremation would occur after the funeral mass, but it is also possible to have an urn containing the cremains present at Mass rather than the deceased's body.
What is the difference between a "vigil" and a "rosary"?
The Vigil Service is an official rite of the Church. In the past, the vigil (or wake) consisted primarily of a time of visitation and the prayers of a Rosary. Because so many non-Catholics attend, the Church has developed a Vigil service based on Scripture and prayer. Families may opt to have a Rosary prayed at the end of the Vigil.
Can I pre-plan my funeral Mass with the church?
Yes, this is common. An appointment may be set with Linda McDowell to go over your desires. This will be kept on file in the office. We only ask that your family members be aware that you have pre-planned your arrangements and your wishes are on file in the office.
Steps in Planning
Step One:
Contact the funeral home that you would like to handle the necessary arrangements. The funeral director will meet with you to discuss the kind of service you would prefer, and he or she will contact St Thomas More to handle the scheduling.
The Rite of Christian Burial sets forth a 3-step ritual:
• The funeral vigil (also known as the viewing)
• The funeral service (usually a Mass)
• The Committal (also known as the burial)
Step Two:
Pastoral Care Coordinator, Linda McDowell, will contact you to arrange a time to meet and assist you with the planning of your loved one's services. Linda will offer you an outline of the services explaining what is involved, and some suggestions for readings and music.
Step Three:
Once we have the funeral liturgy is planned, the Music Director, Steve Raml, will create a worship aide, and the services will be conducted as scheduled.
Funeral Donations and Fees.
Yes there is a suggested honorarium. Normally it is incorporated into the paperwork by the Mortuary who collects it and pays it to the parish.
In lieu of flowers, families often request donations to specific funds or projects in memory of their loved ones. We are always grateful for such donations.